It might be time...
If the child asks for it by name, it might be time to quit breast feeding.
Friday, January 07, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Give me The Gory Details
Give me The Gory Details
One of my favorite jobs, probably is my favorite, is working in the surgery department at the Columbus Regional Hospital. I sat out a semester of college to restore my finances, took a job through Kelly's Temp Agency (making me a "Kelly's Girl") which landed me at the hospital and right into the OR department. Everyday I donned scrubs to do data entry for completed surgery procedures because billing had to be written up, inputting a checklist of supplies used and time in OR into a computer so insurance companies could be billed.
That job actually only lasted a month before a permanent replacement was installed. That left me free to move out into the operating rooms and do whatever needed to be done. I sat in on surgery procedures, witnessed everything from hysterectomies to brain surgery, caesarian sections, breast implants, gall bladder removal and amputations just to name a few - and I loved it. It was fascinating to see all of it happening three feet from me. I saw many a person's insides. How many people can say they do that for a living? Surgeons and gynecologists. I was king of the world for five dollars an hour.
Some people don't have the stomach for that kind of work. Some people can't stand the sight of blood or guts or biological goo. Why is it that I can? Not only can I stand it, I enjoy watching it. Why do I get off on it when others squeam, get sick, faint? I understand the aversion to it. Cutting into someone is a visual reminder, a lesson in just how mortal we are. If it's easy to expose your insides like that covered in blood, it's easy to die. Mortal fear sets in which transposes into being grossed out. So why am I not affected? Does anything gross me out?
The answer to that is yes. Leave the fingernails, rectum and eyeballs alone and I don't have a problem. The thought of removing the fingernails, turning the rectum inside out with a rubber hose and a papercut on the eyeball will send me reeling as it should many who are reading this. But I think even now I'm becoming accustomed to these ideas as my morbid brain randomly makes me think of these things to give me a reality check. I think you just have to get used to the sight of whatever it is you're afraid of to be ok with it - repeated exposure to make you accustomed to it.
I do remember an event when I was younger that may have contributed to my hardened ways. In my early teens I watched a World War II documentary on TV. It was about concentration camps. The war was over and cleanup of these camps was the focus of the program. It showed people hauling the grotesque, disfigured pale corpses of the camps' inhabitants into a ditch to be covered with lime and buried. In the ditch, the bodies were piled one on top of the other to fit the high volume of the dead into a crude hole in the ground. Trucks would back up to the ditch, open the tailgate and bodies were pulled off the back. In a swinging fashion between two handlers they were tossed into the hole on top of the corpses that were already there. I felt ill after watching that. I remember not eating much for days and the visions of that mass graveyard of disfigured and malnourished figures who were once living human beings haunted me for weeks - haunted is the absolute correct word here.
As time went on, the effect that image had on me began to lessen. It started with mortal fear which progressed (digressed?) to disgust and eventually to pity. I could finally manage the images in my head and return to my normal life after a few weeks.
It was then, within a couple of years of that event of my life that I remember my High school history class showing that film or one very much like it in class. There was a verbal warning from the teacher before he began the film and all of us eleventh graders sat there in the dark room and watched history. This was a rerun for me and my reaction to it this time was negligible. I did not feel the same sickening feeling I had the first time I saw this but I knew what my classmates were going through. I could tell from the gasps and the crying that were going around the room as this film played. Right there, I knew, I had become desensitized to death or at least to human mortality. I knew we were all going to die, I knew our bodies are more fragile than the human sense of invulnerability allows us to see. And I had gone through the stages of bad news and had reached acceptance a long time ago. It is also said that your childhood ends when mortality is realized.
With that instinctive fear out of the way, I could enjoy the science of biology as I watched a man's intestines resting on his stomach and surgeons poking at his organs, all with a grin on my face.
My first procedure that I witnessed as a surgical aid was an amputation. The elderly woman had gangrene in her leg. At first I didn't know if I were allowed to go into the room, so I stood outside watching through the window. The RN noticed me, opened the door and invited me in but told me not to talk because the patient was still awake and could hear everything we said. So I stood there, quiet and immobile as a statue as I watched the surgeon disconnect the skin and muscle from the bone, then with a wire saw cut through the bone in a matter of seconds, a very clean slice. What happened next is a story I still like to tell and others remind me about. The RN took the amputated leg, wrapped it in some sterile opaque cloth, insert that into a big plastic bag, sealed it and handed it to me. I looked at her in confusion. Why are you handing me someone's leg? The RN got on the phone in the OR, called security to let them know that I needed access to the morgue in a few minutes to drop off a limb. After she hung up the phone, she gave me directions to the morgue from the OR and told me leave the limb on a table once I got there. I did not fail in my mission either. I did exactly that. The morgue was located one flight below the OR so I had to walk through the public hallways with a leg in my arms (wrapped in a cloth that no one could see), passing visitors along the way, people who had no clue as to the contents of my package. My pride swelled with the exclusive knowledge and responsibility I had as surgical aid.
After I got back to the OR, in my elated state I called some friends. "You'll never guess what I just did?"
That was over ten years ago and on occasion, I am still referred to in certain social circles as the leg man.
Now I have good career, make good money and I have considered signing up as a surgery aid for the local hospital just to experience the thrill of seeing blood and guts again for minimum wage.
Good stuff.
One of my favorite jobs, probably is my favorite, is working in the surgery department at the Columbus Regional Hospital. I sat out a semester of college to restore my finances, took a job through Kelly's Temp Agency (making me a "Kelly's Girl") which landed me at the hospital and right into the OR department. Everyday I donned scrubs to do data entry for completed surgery procedures because billing had to be written up, inputting a checklist of supplies used and time in OR into a computer so insurance companies could be billed.
That job actually only lasted a month before a permanent replacement was installed. That left me free to move out into the operating rooms and do whatever needed to be done. I sat in on surgery procedures, witnessed everything from hysterectomies to brain surgery, caesarian sections, breast implants, gall bladder removal and amputations just to name a few - and I loved it. It was fascinating to see all of it happening three feet from me. I saw many a person's insides. How many people can say they do that for a living? Surgeons and gynecologists. I was king of the world for five dollars an hour.
Some people don't have the stomach for that kind of work. Some people can't stand the sight of blood or guts or biological goo. Why is it that I can? Not only can I stand it, I enjoy watching it. Why do I get off on it when others squeam, get sick, faint? I understand the aversion to it. Cutting into someone is a visual reminder, a lesson in just how mortal we are. If it's easy to expose your insides like that covered in blood, it's easy to die. Mortal fear sets in which transposes into being grossed out. So why am I not affected? Does anything gross me out?
The answer to that is yes. Leave the fingernails, rectum and eyeballs alone and I don't have a problem. The thought of removing the fingernails, turning the rectum inside out with a rubber hose and a papercut on the eyeball will send me reeling as it should many who are reading this. But I think even now I'm becoming accustomed to these ideas as my morbid brain randomly makes me think of these things to give me a reality check. I think you just have to get used to the sight of whatever it is you're afraid of to be ok with it - repeated exposure to make you accustomed to it.
I do remember an event when I was younger that may have contributed to my hardened ways. In my early teens I watched a World War II documentary on TV. It was about concentration camps. The war was over and cleanup of these camps was the focus of the program. It showed people hauling the grotesque, disfigured pale corpses of the camps' inhabitants into a ditch to be covered with lime and buried. In the ditch, the bodies were piled one on top of the other to fit the high volume of the dead into a crude hole in the ground. Trucks would back up to the ditch, open the tailgate and bodies were pulled off the back. In a swinging fashion between two handlers they were tossed into the hole on top of the corpses that were already there. I felt ill after watching that. I remember not eating much for days and the visions of that mass graveyard of disfigured and malnourished figures who were once living human beings haunted me for weeks - haunted is the absolute correct word here.
As time went on, the effect that image had on me began to lessen. It started with mortal fear which progressed (digressed?) to disgust and eventually to pity. I could finally manage the images in my head and return to my normal life after a few weeks.
It was then, within a couple of years of that event of my life that I remember my High school history class showing that film or one very much like it in class. There was a verbal warning from the teacher before he began the film and all of us eleventh graders sat there in the dark room and watched history. This was a rerun for me and my reaction to it this time was negligible. I did not feel the same sickening feeling I had the first time I saw this but I knew what my classmates were going through. I could tell from the gasps and the crying that were going around the room as this film played. Right there, I knew, I had become desensitized to death or at least to human mortality. I knew we were all going to die, I knew our bodies are more fragile than the human sense of invulnerability allows us to see. And I had gone through the stages of bad news and had reached acceptance a long time ago. It is also said that your childhood ends when mortality is realized.
With that instinctive fear out of the way, I could enjoy the science of biology as I watched a man's intestines resting on his stomach and surgeons poking at his organs, all with a grin on my face.
My first procedure that I witnessed as a surgical aid was an amputation. The elderly woman had gangrene in her leg. At first I didn't know if I were allowed to go into the room, so I stood outside watching through the window. The RN noticed me, opened the door and invited me in but told me not to talk because the patient was still awake and could hear everything we said. So I stood there, quiet and immobile as a statue as I watched the surgeon disconnect the skin and muscle from the bone, then with a wire saw cut through the bone in a matter of seconds, a very clean slice. What happened next is a story I still like to tell and others remind me about. The RN took the amputated leg, wrapped it in some sterile opaque cloth, insert that into a big plastic bag, sealed it and handed it to me. I looked at her in confusion. Why are you handing me someone's leg? The RN got on the phone in the OR, called security to let them know that I needed access to the morgue in a few minutes to drop off a limb. After she hung up the phone, she gave me directions to the morgue from the OR and told me leave the limb on a table once I got there. I did not fail in my mission either. I did exactly that. The morgue was located one flight below the OR so I had to walk through the public hallways with a leg in my arms (wrapped in a cloth that no one could see), passing visitors along the way, people who had no clue as to the contents of my package. My pride swelled with the exclusive knowledge and responsibility I had as surgical aid.
After I got back to the OR, in my elated state I called some friends. "You'll never guess what I just did?"
That was over ten years ago and on occasion, I am still referred to in certain social circles as the leg man.
Now I have good career, make good money and I have considered signing up as a surgery aid for the local hospital just to experience the thrill of seeing blood and guts again for minimum wage.
Good stuff.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Dodgeball 101
Dodgeball 101
For many, both men and women, college is opportunity to find a mate. It's a massive meet market with a selection of people your own age and social needs, there's no denying that.
And for a few, finding a mate is the only reason to be at college. But this process turns into a dodgeball team picking its members. And like a dodgeball team, what happens is that the longer it takes you to pick someone, you're bound to end up with the last-picked losers, the ones who don't amount to much and ultimately end up letting the team down.
So if you follow this route, (which I don't recommend, college offers many things in the way of social and educational needs), get there early, pick quick. Get the winner.
For many, both men and women, college is opportunity to find a mate. It's a massive meet market with a selection of people your own age and social needs, there's no denying that.
And for a few, finding a mate is the only reason to be at college. But this process turns into a dodgeball team picking its members. And like a dodgeball team, what happens is that the longer it takes you to pick someone, you're bound to end up with the last-picked losers, the ones who don't amount to much and ultimately end up letting the team down.
So if you follow this route, (which I don't recommend, college offers many things in the way of social and educational needs), get there early, pick quick. Get the winner.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Happy Freakin' New Year!
Happy Freakin' New Year!
What a year this will be for me and my impending fatherhood. I should have lots of upcoming fatherly insights, if I can stay awake.
Mrs. Lock and I stayed home for New Year's. Nice quiet pregnant night. It was very warm outside - well warm for winter so we spent a couple of hours in front of the chimanea (spelling? the giant clay gord that lets you have outdoor fireplaces) looking up at the fog filled sky. We couldn't even see the moon.
Just after midnight, we had neighborhood fireworks display surprisingly to us. They were big budget-4th of July-off the downtown bank building quality fireworks too. People really wanted to see 2004 go.
That was my last year as a DINK. December was probably my last month, odds are.
I trained my wife in my contact info should she decide to go into labor and try and to give birth at her work desk. I told her to instant message me if she could when she felt the onset of labor. I work clear across town and it's about a 40 minute trip to the hospital for me. I'm calculatingo getting pulled over for speeding and reckless driving, normally it's only a 30 minute trip.
Why does this feel like my last will and testament?
Bring on the pain (kid).
Market:
DJI 10799, NASDAQ 2164, SP5 1209
#1 Movie at the box office:
Meet The Fockers
Last movie I saw at the theater:
I can't remember.
Last movie(s) I saw not at the theater:
Chronicles of Riddick
Shrek 2
The Punisher
Books I'm currently reading:
Perelandra by C.S. Lewis
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
Baby and Dad stuff
Albums (cd/mp3) I'm listening to:
Gwen Stefani's Love, Angel, Music, Baby
Foreigner's Greatest Hits
Video games I'm playing:
Halo 2
Halflife 2
Morrowind III: Elder Scrolls. GoY Edition
What a year this will be for me and my impending fatherhood. I should have lots of upcoming fatherly insights, if I can stay awake.
Mrs. Lock and I stayed home for New Year's. Nice quiet pregnant night. It was very warm outside - well warm for winter so we spent a couple of hours in front of the chimanea (spelling? the giant clay gord that lets you have outdoor fireplaces) looking up at the fog filled sky. We couldn't even see the moon.
Just after midnight, we had neighborhood fireworks display surprisingly to us. They were big budget-4th of July-off the downtown bank building quality fireworks too. People really wanted to see 2004 go.
That was my last year as a DINK. December was probably my last month, odds are.
I trained my wife in my contact info should she decide to go into labor and try and to give birth at her work desk. I told her to instant message me if she could when she felt the onset of labor. I work clear across town and it's about a 40 minute trip to the hospital for me. I'm calculatingo getting pulled over for speeding and reckless driving, normally it's only a 30 minute trip.
Why does this feel like my last will and testament?
Bring on the pain (kid).
Market:
DJI 10799, NASDAQ 2164, SP5 1209
#1 Movie at the box office:
Meet The Fockers
Last movie I saw at the theater:
I can't remember.
Last movie(s) I saw not at the theater:
Chronicles of Riddick
Shrek 2
The Punisher
Books I'm currently reading:
Perelandra by C.S. Lewis
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
Baby and Dad stuff
Albums (cd/mp3) I'm listening to:
Gwen Stefani's Love, Angel, Music, Baby
Foreigner's Greatest Hits
Video games I'm playing:
Halo 2
Halflife 2
Morrowind III: Elder Scrolls. GoY Edition
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Gambling That's Good For You
Gambling That's Good For You
I have an idea of starting a casino where its gimmick is a benefit to mankind and advancing civilization. Build a casino in Vegas and donate, say 50% of the profits to technology research and development, architecture invention and maybe some charities. People will come in because 1) it's a casino and 2) dissonance is reduced because money lost is going to a good cause, which is the excuse victims - er, visitors will use after the casino cleans them out.
Now I need a name for this casino.
I have an idea of starting a casino where its gimmick is a benefit to mankind and advancing civilization. Build a casino in Vegas and donate, say 50% of the profits to technology research and development, architecture invention and maybe some charities. People will come in because 1) it's a casino and 2) dissonance is reduced because money lost is going to a good cause, which is the excuse victims - er, visitors will use after the casino cleans them out.
Now I need a name for this casino.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
It was a very merry Christmas. For gifts I received Angels & Demons, Dan Brown's first book before Da Vinci Code, Morrowind game for Xbox, wireless Xbox controller, a couple of nice sweater-shirts, Scrooged on DVD, Run Ronnie Run on DVD, a bottle of wine, a nice inspirational book for fathers with daughters, Scene It the board/DVD game (very fun), a Jeep keychain, a Sherlock Holmes and the House of the Baskerville mug, plus a good amount of cold hard cash.
For myself, I bought a telescope and Half Life 2, Chronicles of Riddick. Merry Christmas to me.
The big gift is coming Feb 1.
Mrs. Lock was pleased with her gifts this year. She had five and she opened them in the following order (intentionally set by me):
1. Deck of cards.
2. Pair of dress socks with diamond patterns.
3. Hand held videogame - baseball.
4. Neil Diamond greatest hits CD
5. Half a caret diamond ring with white gold band.
I tried giving her four hints leading up to the big prize but I don't think she figured it out (thankfully). She was very pleased with all of her gifts except maybe numbers 1-4, definitely not #4.
It was a very merry Christmas. For gifts I received Angels & Demons, Dan Brown's first book before Da Vinci Code, Morrowind game for Xbox, wireless Xbox controller, a couple of nice sweater-shirts, Scrooged on DVD, Run Ronnie Run on DVD, a bottle of wine, a nice inspirational book for fathers with daughters, Scene It the board/DVD game (very fun), a Jeep keychain, a Sherlock Holmes and the House of the Baskerville mug, plus a good amount of cold hard cash.
For myself, I bought a telescope and Half Life 2, Chronicles of Riddick. Merry Christmas to me.
The big gift is coming Feb 1.
Mrs. Lock was pleased with her gifts this year. She had five and she opened them in the following order (intentionally set by me):
1. Deck of cards.
2. Pair of dress socks with diamond patterns.
3. Hand held videogame - baseball.
4. Neil Diamond greatest hits CD
5. Half a caret diamond ring with white gold band.
I tried giving her four hints leading up to the big prize but I don't think she figured it out (thankfully). She was very pleased with all of her gifts except maybe numbers 1-4, definitely not #4.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Random Thoughts - I Mean It
Random Thoughts - I Mean It
I have a memo pad, stored online so I guess it's a virtual memo pad, where I leave notes from thoughts I have during the day. Thoughts I know I'm not going to remember in 10 minutes let alone several days later. Many of these entries are the basis for some of my blog posts here. But there are some entries, I really don't know what I was thinking about and as a result, not sure how to comment on it.
But rather than just delete these random thoughts, I should post them in their raw format, the quick entries as I typed out (even left the typos in) to jog my memory later when I came across it, but my memory doesn't recognize what the heck I was thinking about. I'm sure I have a belief about what I wrote, I just can't remember the context. I inserted some comments (in brackets) to clarify a little what I might have been talking about.
Anyway, here it is. Truly random and unsubstantiated thoughts.
Ah, feels good to clean the closet.
I have a memo pad, stored online so I guess it's a virtual memo pad, where I leave notes from thoughts I have during the day. Thoughts I know I'm not going to remember in 10 minutes let alone several days later. Many of these entries are the basis for some of my blog posts here. But there are some entries, I really don't know what I was thinking about and as a result, not sure how to comment on it.
But rather than just delete these random thoughts, I should post them in their raw format, the quick entries as I typed out (even left the typos in) to jog my memory later when I came across it, but my memory doesn't recognize what the heck I was thinking about. I'm sure I have a belief about what I wrote, I just can't remember the context. I inserted some comments (in brackets) to clarify a little what I might have been talking about.
Anyway, here it is. Truly random and unsubstantiated thoughts.
For someone to be happy, their partner has to give them what they want. for their partner to know what they want, they ahve to know them implicitly. For that to happen, the partner knows what makes him/her tick. Something unnerving about having someone who knows how to press your buttons.
Create a website that searches a db of lottery results. User enters their number, searches to see if it would've ever hit. (This may have been an entrepreneurial idea I had instead of a potential blog entry)
Pregnancy like a gun. Even get cocked. Later on, it's obvious the gun is about to go off.
Medication can remove anger out of a family. Kids imitate. Meds keep their parents calm, they'll learn to stay calm from behavior observation. If the kids see the parents take the drugs, hmmmm. Bad.
Conspiaracy theorists give our government too much credit. [Killed] JFK, [faked] land on the moon, 9/11. We can't even find WMD, protect skyscrapers.
I have more respect for [Patrick] Swayze as an actor after he played a pedophile in Donnie Darko.
I'm a slow learner in a lot of areas. But I never quit learning, so caught up since adults quit [learning] when leaving school.
Over-domesticated: Picky of side of garage to park on, side of bed. etc.
My toy as a kid was the vacuum cleaner. I even had a name for it, VC1U2. It helped me with spelling.
People passionate about doc filmmaker Michael Moore. Passion usually derived because it insults their political view. I saw Super Size Me, didn't get emotional because [it insulted my] love [for] fast food.
Ah, feels good to clean the closet.
Someone In Need
Someone In Need
"Costs just pennies a day. Won't you do it?"
Who has that kind of time to set aside just pennies per day?
"Costs just pennies a day. Won't you do it?"
Who has that kind of time to set aside just pennies per day?
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Looking Back
Looking Back
Read this post of mine from a year ago, especially the last sentence.
Update: 62k in 401k. Not sure about ESOP. Should be higher than 30k. 7400 in IRA.
Read this post of mine from a year ago, especially the last sentence.
Update: 62k in 401k. Not sure about ESOP. Should be higher than 30k. 7400 in IRA.
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