A friend of mine said this to me today. Did I mention that I think my friend is certifiable?
"I wouldn't give up playing basketball to have sex again."
He's proud of this. No it's not A.C. Green.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Best Blonde Joke
Best Blonde Joke
Got this from Mrs. Lock so I don't want any hate mail saying I'm a misogynist. I just appreciate a good joke.
...
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend heads over to help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then... *sigh* ...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Got this from Mrs. Lock so I don't want any hate mail saying I'm a misogynist. I just appreciate a good joke.
...
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend heads over to help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then... *sigh* ...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Friday, October 07, 2005
Growing Network
Growing Network
Work just bought me a new laptop even though I have little use for one. It's a move to standardize the machines accessing their networks. I'll take it home and play around with it but between my peripherals and Mrs. Lock's, our network is becoming quite the hub. Running on it are:
Four laptops (FOUR!)
One desktop
One Networked printer
One TiVo
One Xbox
One VoIP phone
Plus the occasional guest laptop when visitors stop by (It happens!)
And soon to be, when their WiFi is released later this year:
One Nintendo DS
This may be the standard in 5-10 years, but today, it's borderline insane.
Oh yeah I bought 1.5 Gb of RAM last week for my desktop ($120!). I don't know anyone who commercially has that much in their home PC. I can tell the difference since it's been running only 380 Mb of RAM for years.
Again, the standard in a few years will shame my setup now, but today, it's a big upgrade. Although you can never have enough memory for your machine.
Work just bought me a new laptop even though I have little use for one. It's a move to standardize the machines accessing their networks. I'll take it home and play around with it but between my peripherals and Mrs. Lock's, our network is becoming quite the hub. Running on it are:
Four laptops (FOUR!)
One desktop
One Networked printer
One TiVo
One Xbox
One VoIP phone
Plus the occasional guest laptop when visitors stop by (It happens!)
And soon to be, when their WiFi is released later this year:
One Nintendo DS
This may be the standard in 5-10 years, but today, it's borderline insane.
Oh yeah I bought 1.5 Gb of RAM last week for my desktop ($120!). I don't know anyone who commercially has that much in their home PC. I can tell the difference since it's been running only 380 Mb of RAM for years.
Again, the standard in a few years will shame my setup now, but today, it's a big upgrade. Although you can never have enough memory for your machine.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Yin Yang
Yin Yang
If math is the universal language and 1 = 1 is a balanced equation, isn't that proof that the universe is balanced and works to remain so?
Happy birthday Mrs. Lock (yesterday).
Market:
DJI 10477, NASDAQ 2147, SP5 1219
#1 Movie at the box office:
Flightplan (Serenity at #2)
Last movie I saw at the theater:
Serenity
Last movie(s) I saw not at the theater:
Stewie Griffith: The Untold Story (DVD)
Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy (DVD)
Books I'm currently reading:
Good Omen by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Albums (cd/mp3) I'm listening to:
Disturbed - Ten Thousand Fists
Green Day - American Idiot
Video games I'm playing:
Empire Earth
Halflife 2
World of Warcraft
Lego Star Wars
Price I'm paying for gas:
$2.79/gallon. ($45 to fillup)
If math is the universal language and 1 = 1 is a balanced equation, isn't that proof that the universe is balanced and works to remain so?
Happy birthday Mrs. Lock (yesterday).
Market:
DJI 10477, NASDAQ 2147, SP5 1219
#1 Movie at the box office:
Flightplan (Serenity at #2)
Last movie I saw at the theater:
Serenity
Last movie(s) I saw not at the theater:
Stewie Griffith: The Untold Story (DVD)
Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy (DVD)
Books I'm currently reading:
Good Omen by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Albums (cd/mp3) I'm listening to:
Disturbed - Ten Thousand Fists
Green Day - American Idiot
Video games I'm playing:
Empire Earth
Halflife 2
World of Warcraft
Lego Star Wars
Price I'm paying for gas:
$2.79/gallon. ($45 to fillup)
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Dave Barry Quotes
Dave Barry
"The only way to get elected to Congress is to raise a bunch of campaign money, and pretty much the only way to do that is to already be a member of Congress."
"Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements."
"Congress shall also create a tax code weighing more than the combined poundage of the largest member of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox."
"The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts."
"Here's my proposal, which is based on the TV show "Survivor": We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can't, he doesn't.
Or, he can give them food either way. It doesn't matter. The main thing is, we never let them off the island."
"The only way to get elected to Congress is to raise a bunch of campaign money, and pretty much the only way to do that is to already be a member of Congress."
"Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements."
"Congress shall also create a tax code weighing more than the combined poundage of the largest member of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox."
"The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts."
"Here's my proposal, which is based on the TV show "Survivor": We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can't, he doesn't.
Or, he can give them food either way. It doesn't matter. The main thing is, we never let them off the island."
Friday, September 16, 2005
Patriotism vs. Nationalism
No doubt I've listed a few of these quotes on this blog in the past, but it pays to repeat, especially on such an important topic.
From thomasmc.com
There is a lot of talk these days about patriotism and dissent. Most Americans have confused Patriotism with Nationalism, though the two are often diametrically opposed. Waving a flag is Nationalism. Dissent is Patriotism. "My country, right or wrong" and "USA: Love it or Leave it" is Nationalism. Pointing out dangerous flaws in government policy is Patriotism. Telling people to "Shut up and get in line with the President" or "If you don't like it, move to France" is the antithesis of Democracy. For a better understanding of Dissent and Patriotism, I leave you with these words from some of the greatest patriots in history:
From thomasmc.com
There is a lot of talk these days about patriotism and dissent. Most Americans have confused Patriotism with Nationalism, though the two are often diametrically opposed. Waving a flag is Nationalism. Dissent is Patriotism. "My country, right or wrong" and "USA: Love it or Leave it" is Nationalism. Pointing out dangerous flaws in government policy is Patriotism. Telling people to "Shut up and get in line with the President" or "If you don't like it, move to France" is the antithesis of Democracy. For a better understanding of Dissent and Patriotism, I leave you with these words from some of the greatest patriots in history:
"It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from the government.
- Thomas Paine
"A President is impeachable if he attempts to subvert the Constitution".
- President James Madison
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither."
- Ben Franklin
"If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin."
- Samuel Adams
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke
"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it."
- President Abraham Lincoln
"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce and brave man, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot."
- 'Mark Twain'
"Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President."
- President Theodore Roosevelt
"The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly as necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile. To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else."
- President Theodore Roosevelt, 1912
"I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually."
- James Baldwin, Notes of a Native Son
"So long as we have enough people in this country willing to fight for their rights, we'll be called a democracy."
- Roger Baldwin
"Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion."
- Oscar Wilde
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it."
- George Bernard Shaw
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
- Dr. Martin Luther King
"Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph."
- Haile Selassie
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Quote regarding the federal government's response to the Katrina disaster in New Orleans.
"If the government responded like Wal-Mart responded we wouldn't be in this mess."
--Jefferson Parish President, Aaron Broussard
Full transcript of his interview.
"If the government responded like Wal-Mart responded we wouldn't be in this mess."
--Jefferson Parish President, Aaron Broussard
Full transcript of his interview.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)