Kids Say The Darndest Things
Mostly IRC conversations, interesting ones, funny ones that crack me up.
Pulled from bash.org.
Degskalle› There is no point in arguing with an idiot, they will just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience
Zybl0re> get up
Zybl0re> get on up
Zybl0re> get up
Zybl0re. get on up
phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
DragonflyBlade21>: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado
Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.
robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
bawss> Right click.
DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4
IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying
IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"
Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude
benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
benja> The survey was a huge failure...
benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.
Galactic> you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
Galactic> I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
Galactic> the Trix rabbit, for example
Galactic> I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
Galactic> I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
Galactic> fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
Galactic> "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
Galactic> Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
Galactic> FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
Galactic> I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
Galactic> and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
Galactic> and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
Galactic> I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
Galactic> "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
Galactic> I'd be thinking
Galactic> "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
Galactic> another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
Galactic> last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
Galactic> they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
Flaming_Duck> not me
Flaming Duck> I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
Flaming_Duck> I mean, I eat when I get up
Flaming_Duck> but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
FLaming_Suck> bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
Flaming_Duck> don't give me that shit.
Galactic> Back to stupid cereal mascots...
Galactic> Lucky Charms.
Galactic> FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
Galactic> Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
Galactic> I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
Galactic> KILL THEM, BITCH!
Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
Galactic> it's just always bothered me."
MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
@Acaila> FINISH HIM
MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)