Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Bachelor Party - Oh yeah!

Did I mention that I was getting married on the 21st? Oh yeah, well I am. So now that that's out of the way I can talk about my activities over this past weekend.

My friends threw me an unofficial bachelor party. I actually told everyone I did not want to have one but I am never opposed to going out with the guys. So it was guys night out using my bachelor celebration as the excuse.

First stop was a Hooters Family Fun Filled Restaurant. Great time. A friend in the group is recovering from a breakup so I spent most of the night nudging (he would say bruising) his arm to check out the waitresses. Yes a family restaurant, bring the kids, ogle the employees in their skimpy uniforms, have some chicken wings. The guys picked up my bill after I argued for about 3/10 of a second. Thank you.

From there we went and caught a flick. There was much debate about what we wanted to see, which we had down to Matrix Reloaded, Italian Job, A Mighty Wind and Finding Nemo. Yes a bunch of 30 something guys on a bachelor outing considered Finding Nemo as flick of choice for the night. We decided on Italian Job because no one had seen it, it was on everyone's list and not on anyone's wife's list (which is why Finding Nemo was struck down). It was an entertaining film. I didn't see the original with Michael Caine but I think they did a good job so it was a good pick for us. Sorry no review.

The movie let out about quarter after midnight so it was back to my house to decide what was next. Strip club was suggested. Everybody was game, but a couple bailed due to the late hour. So off some of us go to the strip club to wallow in depravity.

Did I mention it was my first visit to a strip club? Well yeah it was. So now that that's out of the way, I can talk about what it's like for a new guy to be at a strip club.

I must say, for the most part it was what I expected. I mean I've seen Sopranos and the Bada Bing so that qualifies me as a strip club expert. But it didn't really sink in until I was actually sitting in one that, and excuse me for talking like a kid who just saw Porky's for the first time, there were naked women walking around the joint, doing their job like you would see at any establishment, only sans clothes. I have to say that it was quite entertaining to see waitresses walking around with nothing on but a G-string taking your drink order. Where else can you get that?

Then it got interesting.

We had picked up a couple of our wives to go with us, including mine or in my case my soon-to-be-wife. One of the other guy's wife ordered a lap dance. Is ordered the right word? Would you like to super size that? Anyway she ordered the lap dance to be performed on her. That's right - girl on girl. Now remember this is my first experience at a strip club. I was just there for the show. I didn't even have any alcohol since I was the DD so I'm flying straight. Anyway, back to the girl on girl. Now I know that this couple has a history of doing the lap dance this way, so the idea that it was happening didn't phase me. It was seeing the nude woman on my friend's wife that got me. I mean I knew it was going to happen, but to actually witness it, you have no idea. Well maybe you do. But I didn't. I'd love to go into detail about the techniques used in this performance, I was particularly impressed by her talents, but I'm sure there are some laws on Blogger that may prevent me from going any further. Sorry no review on this either.

We tried to give them their privacy during the gropefest, but when it's three feet from you and you've never seen anything like that that wasn't on a TV screen, you have to realize that you will turn into Ken Starr standing outside the Oval office at the White House, nose plastered against the glass watching the President press a Cuban (and I mean the cigar) into an intern's anatomy usually reserved for feminine hygiene products. Should I have taken notes? Oh the husband had the widest grin on his face that I have ever seen on a person and I think they got their money's worth. I felt like I should've chipped in.

Good times. So I had a good weekend. How about you?

CD in the car stereo: Tool's Lateralus
Last movie I saw at theater: The Italian Job
Last movie I saw at home: Animatrix