This is a photo that appeared in the November 2004 issue of Wired for an article about the death of corporate brands. I loved the picture so much, I had to display it here.

It reminds me of a Mad TV skit called Clops - claymation cops modeled after the reality cop show Cops where one of the Clops got a called about a disturbance at a bakery. When they arrived, it with the dough boy "baked" on crystal meth and he was flipping out, shouting, screaming, throwing things around. The Clops filled him full of holes with their guns but the bullets just ricocheted off or the dough boy absorbed them unharmed. The dough boy laughed at the Clops for trying to kill him citing he was invincible until one of the Clops shoved the dough boy into an oven, turned the broiler to high flaming the dough boy to a crisp.

"Bad toys, bad toys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they turn on you?"

Red Sox World Champs

Red Sox World Champs

So the Boston Red Sox finally win a World Series for the first time in like 80 some years. And they did it quite impressively too by being down 0-3 to the Yankees for the AL pennant; coming back to win the next four then going on to meet the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series and sweeping them for eight straight wins in a row.

Finally, now maybe they'll quit whining about the curse of the Bambino. Superstitious freaks.

I do look forward to returning to a time when winning the World Series becomes and remains the top news headline for the day in this country.

A Lesson In Daylight Savings Time

A Lesson In Daylight Savings Time

I may have preached on this before, but it's that time of year again. Time for the country and soon most of the world to come off daylight savings time (DST). You people wanted your precious daylight for the summer and now that it's gone, it's back to the winter grind.

The state I live in is only one of two states (I think) that does not observe daylight savings time. I always get "You guys are crazy!" No, you guys are crazy for changing your clocks twice a year and with it your internal physiological clocks wreaking havoc with your psychological makeup just so you can enjoy an extra hour of summer every day.

Even though 96 percent of the country observes DST, they don't understand how it works. It takes a guy in a state that doesn't use it to explain it to you.

I have bosses on the east coast that schedule teleconferences using Eastern Standard Time (EST). No one is even observing EST at the moment except maybe us (more on that later). So they schedule these meetings an hour off from the intended time and they don't even realize it. Fortunately, I know what they actually mean when they pick the time so I show up when they need me. Since everyone else out there misunderstands the timezones in the exact same way, they all show up at the same time too so no harm, no foul and problem perpetuates itself unless I speak up.

The country and most of the world is currently observing DST. Next Sunday, October 31, most likely while you're sleeping, this country will go off of DST and return to Standard Time (ST). When referring to timezones while observing DST, you either use DT or just T. If you're on the east coast, you refer to times in EDT or ET (phone home). Don't start using EST until after October 31 (this year).

Here's a tip that is usually the source of confusion. The timezones themselves do not change; you just hop to one when it's time. EST itself never changes. It is always -5 hours from Greenwich Mean Time (GMT); shorthand is -0500 GMT (a standard reference point for timezones always compares to GMT). Since GMT doesn't change with DST either, the number (aka the offset) is always constant for each of the timezones. So EST is always -0500 GMT, all year long. When they switch to DST in April, they leave EST and begin EDT. EDT is -0400 GMT. That's the extra hour they get during the summer.

Do you see how that works? When going from ST to DT, you shift closer to GMT, so currently, during DST, Eastern is only four hours from GMT and Central is five hours from GMT. I'd like to point out now that CDT has the same GMT offset as EST; minus five hours. Remember the timezones themselves never change, just the people. CDT is -0500 GMT. EST is -0500 GMT.

See how easy that is?

Here's my problem with DST. I have to deal with my east coast bosses who don't understand why my state doesn't observe DST and I have to remind them on a regular basis what time it actually is here. This isn't our fault for not complying with the norm, it's your fault for setting a faulty norm. If you don't think this country sets precedents for being the odd man out, metric system anyone? Convert 78 degrees Fahrenheit to Celsius for me. Which side of the road do you like driving on?

Now, if you're interested in some tidbits about understanding a region that doesn't observe DST, read on. If your brain is already full from what I've said, I suggest you stop and come back tomorrow.

Indiana does not observe DST. It's a farmer thing. Although as more businesses set up shop here and as more farmers shut down, it's getting harder to fight off the DST advocates. I hope the day never comes when Indiana has to observe DST. If it does, I'm looking for houses in Arizona (the other state that doesn't observe DST). Ok I'm not that serious about it, but I'm pretty adamant.

So Indiana never changes its clocks. We actually have our own timezone. It's called, appropriately enough, the Indiana timezone. If you browse through the timezones on your Windows PC clock, you'll see it listed among the world's timezones. Since Indiana never changes and the timezones themselves never change and GMT never changes, Indiana, CDT and EST are all the same timezone; -0500 GMT. In the summer, we share our time with the Central location and in the winter, we share with Eastern. It's a lot of fun pointing out this discrepancy to non-Hoosiers. They just don't get it.

The biggest impact (to me) of having the country observe DST and us not having it is that it messes up my television programming. To make matters worse, it's not consistent on all stations. Some of our shows get bumped around an hour when the country changes and others don't. It's a network vs. cable thing; cable gets moved, the networks that have local affiliates in the state don't. This really screws us up because now we have conflicts we didn't have before plus our favorite shows are on later in the winter which means we have to stay up later to watch them.

So, I plead with you, United States, quit observing DST. You're just causing harm to you and to others and most important of all, you're messing with my stories.

The Future

The Future

Our figuring out the answers to scientific complexities that currently elude us is a as certain as man's curiosity. Our own biological design is a goal and also a reminder that whatever we want is possible to achieve. Our existence is our own motivation to find all of the answers - ALL of the answers to life.

We are living proof of what we think now of as miracles. As long as we live we will figure out all of the mysteries that is us and with that understanding, be able to create whatever we diddly darn well please.

Such knowledge will demand great care and responsibility lest we wipe ourselves out with it. If you've ever considered if a higher power created us, think about what that being's intention was by giving us a very advanced scientific blueprint (ie: us) plus an overwhelming desire to understand such things. Then consider whether or not that power knew we would figure it out. Assuming we did figure out all of the puzzles in life, does this being count on us to use it wisely or will He/She/It/They lose his investment.

It's a little bit comforting to me to think there is a higher intelligence behind our creation because if He's smart enough to build us, He should be smart enough to keep us from blowing ourselves up. Or if it turns out to be a test, maybe He won't interfere at all and merely gave us a resource to keep our extinction from happening and it's a matter of recognizing that resource to exercise it. Either way, with a Divine Being behind the scenes, we have a chance.

If there is no higher power and life happened by accident, then it saddens me to think that with no Great Protector - we will eventually remove ourselves and all life from this existence.

-- Lock

Technological Dependency

Technological Dependency

I went over to my brother's last Saturday for my nephew's one year birthday party. I took my laptop with me to show my family some pictures I had taken and loaded onto the machine. My Mom got a hold of the laptop, started playing around with it and then asked me why she couldn't get on the Internet like she could when using it at my house.

I wanted to laugh. My initial thought was to answer "Well my house is 45 miles away and I can't find a router strong enough to broadcast that distance." But instead I gave a very polite and non-condescending explanation of how WiFi works.

It makes me think of how easily we use machines that we don't have an understanding of how they work. I don't know how a combustible engine really works, but I can depend on my car to get me to my destination and I really don't care how it does it.

Incumbent or Newcomer?

Incumbent or Newcomer?

Less than two weeks away from the Presidential election and the two major candidates are in a dead heat. Boy, was I wrong (see last paragraph).

It's time for a change. The last time I voted for a President, we had eight years of peace and prosperity. It's time to bring that back. I'll take a flip flopper over someone who won't admit their mistakes.

Blurb

Blurb

Hey there blog. What's up? Haven't chatted in awhile. Today is my first day back at work. I took all of last week off and it was nice. What did I do? Nothing. Where did I go? Nowhere. It was the best vacation I've ever had.

Actually, I did get a bit busy. My parental units came up for the week to celebrate a couple Libra family birthdays - mine and my nephew's. The parents stayed with me for most of the week. It was good to go out with them, hang out with your parents like you would friends.

They got me a birthday card which was enclosed with a check for 25 dollars. I thanked them for the card and teased them about the check saying I used it to pay my mortgage. I turned 32, my wife is giving birth to their granddaughter next February and they're still giving me checks for my birthday. I wonder if it will ever stop? 50 years old and I'll still get 25 dollar checks (adjusted for inflation is about $7.55).

In between entertaining the parents, I played a few video games, watched a few movies but spent most of my time watching the Farscape marathon they had on SciFi. That was fun getting back into that show that I hadn't seen since they cancelled it. And what a great show it was. Very fast paced, very smart. Just good solid scifi - Enterprise could learn a few lessons since it can drag at times.

That's all for now. See ya.

P.S. Angelina Jolie named #1 sexiest woman alive by Esquire magazine. Well duh.

Vacation: Days 1 - 2

Vacation: Days 1 - 2

Day 2 of my vacation and I'm having a great time.

Day 1 was eventful. I actually went in to work for a couple of hours to take care of some routine yet important stuff. Ironic that the one day of my vacation I decide to work and it was a holiday.

After my two hours at work, I went home and fired up the Xbox. Played video games for about an hour or so and then met Mrs. Lock for lunch. We haven't done that in awhile. Not since I used to worked second shift many years ago.

After lunch, back to the homestead to watch some TV and play more video games until wifey got home from work and then it was movie time.

Day 2, I got up with Mrs. Lock (light sleeper), saw her off to work and then tried to plan my day - video games, television or movie? SciFi decided for me because they're in the middle of a massive Farscape marathon. They're playing the whole series over 11 days. I sat down at 8 and started watching. It is now after 2 and I decided to take a break. The Tivo continues to record the episodes, I'll just catch them later. Somewhere in there, I took a breather to run to the store and pick up some toilet paper at Mrs. Lock's request. I also picked up a black T-shirt with Frankenstein's head displayed in the middle. I'm wearing it now. Got to celebrate the holidays.

One of the reasons I had to get the toilet paper is because today I am waiting on the arrival on my parents. They're coming up from Florida to celebrate my and my nephew's birthday and it'll be nice because they'll stay with me for the week and help me celebrate my vacation. Let me just say that it's not that we don't use toilet paper when we don't have guests, you just have to keep a handy supply on hand (so to speak) when you double the house's occupants. We need to drastically increase the coffee supply in the house too but I think Mrs. Lock is picking some up on the way home.

I can't wait to see how the rest of the week goes. A whole lot of time off and a lot of things to waste it on.

Mrs. Lock said something interesting to me last night. It was right after we got done watching Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11. We saw the argument about the Bush family's ties to oil companies and ultimately the middle east and how such a relationship might have a corruptive hand in how our President makes his decisions. My wife wondered if by electing Kerry, we wouldn't just be perpetuating the same corruption. The Bushes made their fortune from oil. Isn't there a foreign power that owns the ketchup/tomato industry that could control the Kerrys in a similar fashion? Mrs. Lock says to keep an eye on Italy if Kerry is elected.

Screwed if we do, screwed if we don't. Why do we even bother?

My wife is due on 2/1. That's Groundhog's Day eve. I told my wife that when our child is born and if she sees her shadow, she'll go back in the womb for 6 more weeks of pregnancy.

Turning 32 means being offered the choice between sex and a nap - and you hesitate.